The TAO of Missy Cat
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Surviving The Loss Of Your Pet

If you have recently lost a pet. I don’t have to tell you how devastating it can be.

You wonder if the pain will ever go away.

Studies have shown that it takes longer to get over the loss of a pet than another human.

There is a lot of advice on dealing with pet loss depression out there but by the end of this post I will show you a truly unique way of thinking about your special relationship that may help ease the grief.

It’s a pain I know all too well because I am one week shy of one year since I lost an animal that changed my life. Missy, or as I nicknamed her Missy Cat.

Missy Cat thru the window

Missy Cat sleeping on my lapMissy Cat sleeping on my lap

Missy’s Smile

Before Missy Cat I had been around animals all my life which as of the time of this writing is over 60 years. I am comfortable with animals I care about animals and I thought I knew pretty much all there was to know about caring for a house pet.

But it turns out the universe is full of surprises. And an animal came into my life who changed everything I thought I knew. This time she was not a pet…she was a friend. A fellow traveler on the soul  journey through life.

Missy was a rescue cat first adopted by my Aunt who volunteered at the animal shelter. When my Aunt passed, my mother took Missy in and moved her from my aunts New Hampshire home to Virginia where the rest of the immediate family still lived.

Not long after that my mom’s health became fragile and I spent most of my time taking care of her. Each time I came over mom used to say “Your cat has been waiting for you”. And sure enough Missy would sit on my lap. When I stayed the night, she jumped up in My bed…she had chosen me long before I knew what was inevitable.

When mom passed, I decided to buy the family house and let 12-year-old Missy stay with me. She was the gentlest soul I have ever experienced, and I decided that she had been through enough difficult changes in her already long cat life. And we all know how hard it is for an older cat to get adopted from a shelter.

For the seven years we were together. Every day was a happier day. We learned to communicate between the species. I attribute this to an effort on Missy part. I know deep inside that she loved me and trusted me completely, so much that she let down her guard and showed me her true personality. Slowly she let me understand the deep intelligence that animals possess.

You have probably had a similar experience. And that’s why you’re reading this. Your heart may be breaking, like it has never broken before. And like me you may be wondering if that pain will ever go away.

You Are Not Alone

The loss of a pet can feel more devastating than the loss of a family member. Many studies have shown this fact. Our pet is always with us, never judgmental, and gives us unconditional love…faithful till the end.

And don’t expect a non-pet owner to understand. They don’t understand how meaningless it is for them to say “just get another one”. For so many people animals are just dumb, replaceable creatures. I feel sorry for them.

There are many blogs. Pet loss forums. Books. YouTube videos and other places that have touched on the topic “How do you deal with the loss of a pet?”   Animal Life After Death is a Facebook Group by Psychic Brent Atwater which daily has posts from those who recently lost a beloved pet. There are so many touching stories. It can help to realize you are not alone in your experience.

The passing over of your pet means that you have to deal with it personally, but you may need to explain the loss to children and help them to understand that death is a natural part of life.

If you have a multiple pet family you will have to deal with the loss and grief experienced by the other animals that you love and care for. But I want to offer a slightly different approach. Heck, a very different approach…

If you’ve read anything else on this blog about Missy cat. You know, I’ve discovered a very spiritual side of the relationship. I always consider the spiritual side of life. And when Missy Cat was alive I considered the spiritual side of our relationship long before her physical body left this dimension. There came a point when I decided to say  “Missy, I love you. Always”.

Notice the word “will” is not in that sentence, that’s an important point.

Because “will” implies…from this point forward this is how it will be. But I had come to a conclusion based on  Missy being such a miracle in my life, that I have loved her even     before I knew her in this timeline, as well as in the present, and in the future.​​​​​

And since the soul is an eternal thing.

I’m coming from the point of view that I existed before I was born to be who I am now. Just as I will exist after this body is long gone. Therefore, it makes perfect sense to say, “I love you. Always”…which means, past, present, and future.

You know, Eternity.


After grieving well over 6 months from losing Missy to renal failure (which I described in the post All Good Things) it finally occurred to me that I was missing a key point about my very own concept of:    I love you always. Here’s what happened (or “The Sleeper Awakens”).

I was thinking or praying or meditating…one of them…

…about Missy’s spirit, something like: Divine Mother, Heavenly Father, I do not ask You to bring her back, or reincarnate her in another body I pray that you will do what is best for her. And let me be a part of that, whatever it is.

I myself really don’t want to reincarnate. I’d like this to be the last time. But if Missy has the need to come back and will need somebody to be there for her, then I will do it. I volunteer …for her.

Then BAM! I realized, maybe this isn’t the first time I made that offer!

 Could it be that right now I am experiencing the results of that deal?

Why not? Since I already have concluded our spirits are old friends. It’s reasonable to at least consider that I may have made that deal on Missy’s behalf before I was born. Whoa!

That put a whole new spin on my grief. It somehow made it more bearable to think that I am participating in her eternal existence. Soul to soul.

Or Maybe

That beautiful soul in a kitty body was here to help ME!                                     I think it’s a little of both. Either way she is my Blessing from the Universe.

Missy’s ashes in our meditation room.

Missy came to me across hundreds of miles. We could have easily never met.

And her similarity to Guinevere, the amazing kitty I saved and ended up rehoming when I moved from Hawaii 27 years prior, were too many to be coincidence. Both were Calico, had big green eyes, and almost NO voice to meow. And both bonded to me like we had always been together.

Did that spirit come back into my life to finish our predestined journey together?

When it was her time, I did everything in my power to give Missy the most beautiful, gentle, sendoff that anyone could ever have. I mean, I should be so lucky.

So, if you’re grieving about that beautiful soul that loved you so much, understood you so well and really couldn’t explain the connection, remember…

There is more to an animal than they let you know.

They are not just a simple lower species on the food chain.

Their spirit and soul is as real and eternal as yours and mine.

If an animal lets you in to their heart. It is a blessing from the Universe that is unequaled.

And since the soul, the spirit, and consciousness is eternal, it’s very possible that

this is not the first time you met!

And maybe you’re here now facing all this pain out of love!

 On The Soul Level

You agreed to do this for your dear friend. You just may be going through the pain of loss so that your little one won’t have to experience it due to you leaving first. And you are providing that sweet soul another gift…that of having you present in those most precious last moments.

Do you think that you and your pet have a spiritual connection? Please share your experience.

Here are some FREE resources that are available to help you cope with overwhelming emotions that often accompany the loss of a beloved pet.

  1. 1The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement
  2. 2Best Friends – Pet Loss and Grief Resources
  3. 3Suicide Prevention Hotline

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